Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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