You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
