I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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