Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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