Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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