eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
now i know why i became what i already was.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
