I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
