I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm just crazy horny about you
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
