You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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