I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
