Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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