i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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