I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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