I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
