Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
