i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize