they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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