Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
tell me about the fingering
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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