Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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