every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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