It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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