yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
be right there i have to get my cape
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
