I bet he comes in French.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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