Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
