i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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