I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
