Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
