I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
