he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
