just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
