Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
PANTIES FOUND
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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