I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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