Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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