DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
