You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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