Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
