xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
