her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
