Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
