My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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