And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
