After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize