I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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