Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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