Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
there is glitter all over my balls
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