Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
