I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
