i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
