A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
