absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I party with great urgency now.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
