Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
