We're facebook friends in real life
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
