do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize