i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
