we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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