do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My bed smells like the plague
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
