yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize