good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
