one two three fourrrrnication!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize