OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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