Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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