i already hear my dad disowning me
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize