im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I am one with the molecules
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
