i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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