you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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