As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
there was a trapeze. enough said
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
