Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
