His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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