You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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