Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
