i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
