I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
