I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
