God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My vagina is officially offended.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize