did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
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