I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
