I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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