Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
